“While preparing for her wedding to husband number four (Patrick Stewart), retired film star Eve Wilde (Glenn Close) invites husband number one (John Malkovich) and their collective families to a summer weekend in the country.” Directed by Damian Harris, the cast also includes Minnie Driver, Jack Davenport, Noah Emmerich and Peter Facinelli.
The Wilde Wedding: a romantic comedy starring Glenn Close, John Malkovich, Patrick Stewart with hair and whole array of colorful family members. What could possibly go wrong?
(So, but so much.)
I… The Cast’s existence (but damn, not their performances)? Patrick Stewart’s hair? Jack Davenport’s charm? The patience each and every actor had to have not to chuck the script at the director’s head?
I’m actually going with Glenn Close and John Malkovich’s on-screen reunion, 29 years after Dangerous Liaisons. It was a delight to watch them share a screen once more, even if it had to be in this dud.
The lack of ensemble in a supposedly ensemble-driven movie.
The Cast, which is normally the saving grace of a small comedy, actually does nothing for this movie. Ensemble pics rely on character interactions and family dynamics, but this movie doesn’t allow us to peek behind the curtain.
A divorced couple of actors with three sons, a famous playboy author with “three” daughters, a couple of young grandkids, all trapped together in a house for a wedding weekend. Isn’t this the best set up possible? The problem is that it doesn’t actually go anywhere.
How do the brothers relate, what’s their relationship with their parents, how did the troubled marriages they witnessed as kids shape their views on love besides making them all sex maniacs? We don’t know because instead of showing characters actually relating to one another, the movie chooses to focus on the romantic entanglements, so we get characters in crops of two or three and scenes that lead nowhere.
I went into this movie fully expecting to love it to pieces; it’s the whole reason I went out of my way to rent it when it didn’t premiere in my country. I like random little comedies, even when they’re less than inspired. (Fun fact: when my post-grad group of friends went to watch Steve Jobs, I watched a British comedy called Man Up instead and loved it to pieces.) It doesn’t take much to please me, just give a reasonably well-written fun time and I’ll be happy.
Yet, bland, random, directionless and worst of all, boring, The Wilde Wedding is not a reasonably well-written fun time. It’s a movie that has no idea what it wants to be.
It wants to be a quirky European comedy, but forces half of its cast to put on American accents (Jack Davenport successfully, Minnie Driver not so much).
It wants to present itself as a movie the granddaughter is making about love in her family for the wedding, but only sporadically remembers that plot device, which ultimately produces nothing of consequence.
It wants to be an ensemble family movie but doesn’t let its characters interact more than strictly necessary to enable dead-end romances.
It wants to be a romantic comedy, yet doesn’t present a single romantic relationship that makes a lick of sense or is remotely developed. Oh, and it’s not funny. At all.
By the very telegraphed end, I was enraged at all the wasted possibilities.
My Rating: 3/10. (One for each main actor, who deserved so much better.)
Should you watch it?
No. It’s a shame because the tagline shows so much potential, and there is a story to be told buried somewhere in the middle of the mess this movie ended up being, but no one involved in the production was talented enough to unearth it. The final cut of the movie is boring at best and infuriating at worst.
Hard, hard, hard pass.
Let’s hope our journey into superhero land bears better fruits!